I think that part of being human is being awkward. It’s almost as if God or the Universe or Science or whatever has pre-installed in our brain a pocket just for those terrible memories where we have embarrassed ourselves.
Now, the thing about being awkward is it is all your fault. You only ever feel awkward in situations where YOU made YOURSELF look bad. I have had more than a few of these situations- for example, when I was walking down the hall with headphones in and a ton of books in my arms and when I managed to slip in a puddle of water, resulting in my stuff going everywhere and my shoe to fly down the hall, only to have the most well-liked girl in the school see and proceed to pity me *insert cringe attack here*.
Or like the time when I dropped my water bottle… over top of a rail on the stairs and smacked some poor, unsuspecting guy on the head, making him miss the last few steps and go tumbling, taking out a couple of girls on the way. Naturally, I never reclaimed the bottle and never made eye contact with the boy again.
It’s moments like these that cause that sort of inward shudder that makes us all hit ourselves on the forehead and wonder how on earth you could have possibly been that awkward.
There’s actually a scientific explanation for these awkward moments. The part of our brain that controls “fight or fight” responses (fancy name: adrenal medulla) is also responsible for controlling how you react during these awkward moments.
By taking a closer look, we can see that the main reasons why we feel awkward would be mostly out of fear- I think we’re all too familiar with the feeling of “oh my god everyone’s looking at me they’ll never forget this and I’m going to fail and loose my job and then I’m going to have to live on the street and then I’m going to die”.
And now it’s time for the irrelevant profound conclusion.
News Flash: You’ve already survived every awkward moment you’ve had before, so why not this one? I have to admit, 10 years from now it’s going to be a pretty funny story that you spilled Coke on the floor, forgot about it, then slipped and fell in it in front of what seemed like the entire junior class. It’s all good.
Don’t take over the world without me.