New Year’s Fail

At the awakening of every single year, I make new year’s resolutions, much like the rest of the world. And at the end of every single year, I realize just how poorly I did at attempting those new year’s resolutions.

This year, I will not follow the pattern of the life behind me. This year will be different.

I solemnly swear:

  1. I will make it back onto the honor roll.
  2. I will use my fitbit (thanks mom) to track my exercise and diet.
  3. I will visit the YMCA at least twice a week.
  4. I will stop taking LSD.
  5. I will stop making jokes about taking LSD.
  6. Seriously I don’t take LSD please don’t call the police.
  7. I will finish that stack of books that’s been sitting on my desk for a month now and keeps growing.
  8. I will get a real job.
  9. I will clear out that damn shelf in my closet.
  10. I will do my best to be happy.

Happy New Year, everyone. And hello, 2016.

Ugh, who am I kidding. This list will last like a week. Oh well. 

Don’t take over the world without me.

 

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