At the awakening of every single year, I make new year’s resolutions, much like the rest of the world. And at the end of every single year, I realize just how poorly I did at attempting those new year’s resolutions.
This year, I will not follow the pattern of the life behind me. This year will be different.
I solemnly swear:
- I will make it back onto the honor roll.
- I will use my fitbit (thanks mom) to track my exercise and diet.
- I will visit the YMCA at least twice a week.
- I will stop taking LSD.
- I will stop making jokes about taking LSD.
- Seriously I don’t take LSD please don’t call the police.
- I will finish that stack of books that’s been sitting on my desk for a month now and keeps growing.
- I will get a real job.
- I will clear out that damn shelf in my closet.
- I will do my best to be happy.
Happy New Year, everyone. And hello, 2016.
Ugh, who am I kidding. This list will last like a week. Oh well.
Don’t take over the world without me.